The Art of Healing
I’ve got a knack for witnessing things in nature that few people see: mating rattlesnakes, baby roadrunners, hummingbird births, suckling javelin babies, a frequently visiting young buck mule deer.
And, recently, this:
This desert spiny lizard (scelopours magister) scuttles about in front of my French doors daily, often doing push-ups to attract the ladies (as seen here). Click to enlarge.
As he ran along the railroad ties on July 11, I was shocked to see that Big Boy’s tail was missing. And then I began to wonder: would it grow back? Because almost a year ago to the day, I had discovered this:
I was taking photos of a full moon one night when this tree lizard (uorsaurus ornatus) caught my eye. To my surprise, he was tailless, but even more surprising, when I bent closer, was the new growth I noticed at the break point. Click to enlarge.
Apparently some – not all – lizards possess the ability to drop a section of their tails and regenerate it as part of a defense mechanism. From UCSB Science Line:
“While escaping a predator, if the predator catches the tail, it will disconnect. The tail lies flopping in the predator’s mouth or on the ground. While the predator is occupied or distracted by the wriggling tail, the reptile runs away.”
You can imagine how excited I was, on July 25, when I zoomed in on Big Boy and saw … yes … the emergence of a new tail (only two weeks later).
Do you see it? Click to enlarge, and you’ll see a little black appendage growing from the break point.
For Writers: As writers, we often feel a bit battered and bruised – maybe not with our tails removed, but slapped around, if you will. Mostly, our wounds come from rejection or fear of rejection: from contest judges, from agents, from publishing houses, from reviewers, from readers.
Because writing is such a personal endeavor, it’s easy to feel wounded by criticism or even by silence. We also can feel wounded by circumstance – learning that someone else has written a book similar to ours, that a “competitor” book has a release date before ours, that someone’s book shares a similar book image or the same title … the list goes on and on.
But as writers, I think maybe we, too, can heal – not through incredible cellular regeneration – but by using our minds.
This post by author Kathryn Craft, 10 Writer Affirmations to Bolster Optimism, struck a powerful chord within me – and is testament to the power of positivity (something that can be difficult for all authors and writers at various points in their careers, me obviously included). When I read Kathryn’s guest post at Writers in the Storm, I saw it as a challenge for authors to view themselves less as victims, and more as the creators of their own destiny. (This post is so worth the read. Please read it!).
As an aspiring author, soon-to-be-published-author, or already-published author, do you sometimes feel wounded? How do you deal with those less-than-positive feelings? Do you use positive affirmations? Do you think they can work?
July 28th, 2013 at 3:26 pm
Thank you for sharing the affirmations post, Melissa — it had some very really good ideas that I’ll definitely use because yes I do feel quite battered at times right now (especially as I query); I especially loved numbers 9 & 10. One of the things I like about self publishing my mystery novel earlier this year was that it made me feel like I was making a positive affirmation about my writing (even though it is discouraging and very hard at times when it doesn’t go as I expect it to). It makes me feel like I’m controlling my own destiny more, that I’m actively pursuing my dream and my passion and that I’m learning and growing as a writer… maybe even helping myself regenerate some hope and healing. Thank you for an uplifting and encouraging post!
[Reply]
Melissa Reply:
July 28th, 2013 at 4:22 pm
YES! No. 9 was my absolute favorite; really put things in perspective for me. And 10 – “If writing is truly my passion, I must not give up.” Do I hear an amen?
I love what you said about self-publishing allowing you to be positive about your writing. And I’m glad writers have so many more avenues available, that never before were accessible.
Here’s for regenerating hope and healing. Keep it up, my friend! We’re here to support one another.
[Reply]
July 29th, 2013 at 7:54 am
I love this post, Melissa. I had a similar experience when I read The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Her first chapter talks a lot about recovering a sense of safety by fighting back all the negative self-talk we often do to ourselves and starting each day with creative affirmations. Thanks for sharing this!
[Reply]
Melissa Reply:
July 30th, 2013 at 11:56 am
Funny that she uses the word “safety” – because, somehow, I do feel more at peace — safer to create — when I put on my positive hat.
[Reply]
July 29th, 2013 at 9:00 am
Doing push-ups to impress the ladies?! Hehe. Yes, I do sometimes feel battered. I wish I had an answer as to how I deal, but I’m not really sure. I just do. *shrugs* Off to see that link!
[Reply]
July 29th, 2013 at 9:21 am
Beautiful post, Melissa, and I love the pictures! I find healing by being around those who love me most, and who support my dreams the most. They ground me. I also enjoy taking looong walks and praying (or sometimes venting). Art, in whatever form, means that we are often vulnerable. But what beautiful vulnerability!
[Reply]
Melissa Reply:
July 30th, 2013 at 11:57 am
Yes, art DOES = vulnerability, doesn’t it? I never thought of it quite like that.
[Reply]
July 29th, 2013 at 11:51 am
Love this post, M!! I get frustrated with the issue of time management and feeling legitimate in how I spend my time writing versus more tangible results like a day job. Any questions about my schedule definitely make me feel like someone is chewing away on my lizard tail. Heading over to read the recommended post. Thank you, Melissa, and don’t give up!
[Reply]
Melissa Reply:
July 30th, 2013 at 12:00 pm
Oh – ye old time management issue… YES. The true measure is whether you have a book at the end!
[Reply]
July 29th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
It’s gross to have a lizard tail come off in your six year old fingers, an experience I can personally attest to.
When we put our work ‘out there’ there will be those who find it lacking in some area, or point out its flaws. Should we allow ourselves to be wounded by this? It might be better to simply listen, say think you, and get back to work on making our novel the best it can be. We’ve gotta develop tough skin, but even more important might be determination – to remain open to what readers say about our novels, and USE that to drive us on to greater things.
I find impersonal rejections to be the worst – the ones where you never hear back, and have no feedback to tell you why.
[Reply]
Melissa Reply:
July 30th, 2013 at 1:55 pm
When I wrote this post, I hadn’t thought about critique-while-writing, which is what I believe you may be referring to. But I agree with you: I’m a big fan of critique. I also agree 100% that making our novels the best they can be, by listening openly to criticism, is paramount to success. I think most often when people feel “wounded” by critique, it’s because the person delivering the criticism isn’t quite well-versed on exactly how to do it constructively. There is, indeed, an art even to critique and delivery method.
I agree about impersonal rejections – or no responses at all. And – ick – the poor lizard tail (and poor traumatized you! I’d have FREAKED out).
[Reply]
July 29th, 2013 at 12:54 pm
1. Absolutely love your photos (glad the tails grow back)!
2. Absolutely love Kathryn Craft’s affirmations for writers!
In the writing world when I receive a “no,” I know it puts me that much closer to a YES!
[Reply]
Melissa Reply:
July 30th, 2013 at 12:04 pm
It must be year of the lost-lizard tail… I saw another one (different species) under the tree this morning!
A no is that much closer to a yes! Indeedy.
[Reply]
July 29th, 2013 at 6:43 pm
Melissa thanks for spreading the optimism by linking my post to this sight. I’m happy some new folks got to read it!
[Reply]
Melissa Reply:
July 30th, 2013 at 12:05 pm
I should be thanking YOU. I’m still very moved by your affirmations and can’t wait to see the other posts you deliver to Writers in the Storm.
[Reply]
July 30th, 2013 at 7:48 am
Writers in the Storm is new to me… thanks so much for the introduction. I often struggle with self-doubt about my writing and Kathryn’s affirmations are a great antidote to those feelings. Just what I needed today!
[Reply]
Melissa Reply:
July 30th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
Oh – I LOVE their blog! I’m so happy to have introduced you to it: lots of great information there. Glad you reacted the same way to the affirmations as I did.
[Reply]
July 30th, 2013 at 10:02 pm
I am constantly amazed at what you find in nature and how you relate it to writing. You are such an inspiration! By the way, I LOVE that first photo. It’s frame-worthy.
[Reply]
Melissa Reply:
August 11th, 2013 at 9:49 am
That is the best compliment ever, Leah. Thank you! I need to get back outside and see if I can find Big Boy to see just how long that new tail has grown.
[Reply]
August 4th, 2013 at 9:24 pm
I don’t know if someone has already mentioned the “hurt writer feelings” series by Laura Zigman. It’s so funny and spot on because YES– I think writers at all stages feel wounded–and probably too often. We are sensitive creatures! I try to remember just like in love–writing success is not a pie. There is not a finite amount of success. Good writing finds an audience. That’s probably over simplistic but I like to believe it’s true.
[Reply]
Melissa Reply:
August 11th, 2013 at 9:51 am
No… I’ve not heard of Laura Zigman’s series, but I’m going to look it up (thank you)! And, oh MY … I love your positive quotable quote: “Good writing finds an audience.”
[Reply]
August 6th, 2013 at 12:04 pm
“We also can feel wounded by circumstance – learning that someone else has written a book similar to ours.”
That is so true! I remember reading a wonderful book by Elizabeth Berg called Dream When You’re Feeling Blue and felt distraught because the plot was so similar to the ms I was trying to sell. Would someone think I’d stolen her idea? Would no one want to buy my book because there was a similar one on the shelves?
But now I realize that there really are only a finite number of stories and it’s the author that brings a unique perspective to it. You have to write what speaks to you most and then your enthusiasm will shine through.
[Reply]
Melissa Reply:
August 11th, 2013 at 10:12 am
Oh, Jackie… I can relate to this (which is obviously why I mentioned it). VBut you’re right: the author brings the unique perspective to the story and there ARE only so many stories to be told/themes to be uncovered. “Write what speaks to you!” Thank you. You’ve made ME feel better ;-).
[Reply]
August 8th, 2013 at 7:56 am
Wonderful topic, Melissa. I followed your link and read what Kathryn Craft had to say. It was very positive and affirming. As a self-published writer I have a certain amount of ambivalence about traditional publishing, which is what Kathryn seemed to focus on. I also at times sense a certain division between those who self-publish and those who hold out for a contract. But many things you write about here ring true for both. And as a self-published author the road to acceptance feels a bit steeper, without that hard-earned stamp of approval from an editor.
One thing I believe to be true, we need to support each other. Sometimes difficult to do in such a competitive environment. I’m of the no-new-stories camp–only new voices.
And kudos to Cynthia for attesting to your keen lizard observations with a personal example. Not an experience I would ever care to have, but then I’m not likely to be grabbing a lizard by the tail any time soon.
[Reply]
Melissa Reply:
August 11th, 2013 at 10:15 am
I agree with you that there is a divide between “self” and “traditional” in the publishing world. BUt I agree that positivity helps in both those worlds (and I think it’s wonderful that writers have more avenues than ever to pursue their writing dreams).
I never really thought about the steepness of Acceptance Hill for self-published writers. But I think I’d feel the same way, to be honest. That stamp of approval seems to be so, so important. But maybe, as Nina said above, “Good writing finds an audience.” Period.
[Reply]